Thursday, April 26, 2007

My traveling Carriage


The sun rays tore the silence of the dawn
Dew falls to the ground
My traveling carriage passes
And as the wheels touch the details of the road
They splash on the pavement lost water drops
Traveling water drops
Carried by sound of the successive wheels
To what left of the short time
To a small place
To an empty land
And I am staying here moving my sad chair
Waiting for the whispers of the coming steps
If you see me, you would think I am here although I have reached the edge of time

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like what u wrote.. I like the first image that was formed in my mind when I first read the lines, though I don't know if it's what you meant..
I got the image of this person who's moving on with his life, trying to leave what is already "a memory", or "done" behind him.. moving along with his life journey, with a few looks behind, remembering, and more looks ahead, expecting and hoping.. This is what I've been thinking of.
While reading these words, I compared them to a very beautiful arabic text by Mahmoud Darwish.. I couldn't help but to do that, especially by this way of using metaphors..

Luma

Akropoli said...

Yes Luma , it is nice how you though of what I wrote,
The Carriage here symbols life and time that goes and fades to the end.
And last three lines show how one is waiting and hoping but nothing really is changing as if he reached the end
thank you !

Anonymous said...

Nice text. I really like it the most, the images you used are very vivid, and the words you picked up are very affluent. One of my best pieces. Bravo !

Majd

Vass said...

personally i had the honour to listen its recitation in arabic. it sounded beautiful too: like a piece of a fragmented requiem.